LOVE.

My Most Favoritist Internet Video of All Time

Red Pen Power Trip

For someone that does a whole lot of nothing around here, the little man is making quite the underhanded comments about Geoff in his absense, in front of our boss. He is constantly projecting his voice, and talking to no one in particular, in such an obvious attempt to point out the supposed shortcomings of others to the boss. But the amusing thing about the whole situation is that he is pointing out things that would accuse others of doing the very thing he is so blatantly doing—nothing productive. Over and over again, restating that he is just trying to “do his job” and “get his job done”. What job? What are you doing aside from walking around, celebrating your last week’s victory of convincing the owner that you NEEDED you own desk. Now he’s knocked a wall down to give you an area for this desk, because no one else wanted your desk near them, and soon you will have no excuse for not getting your returns done in a timely manner. You have no excuse now, but you will have no fabricated excuse then.

I see your returns sitting in a pile next to what used to be the desk you sat at to process them. What the hell are you doing right now that is preventing these from getting done. I see you walking around with a red pen behind your ear, but I know that if I sorted through every last piece of paper used here in the last week, I would see none with red pen on them. Because you don’t use the pen behind your ear, do you? It’s just part of your ego-trip. To make it seem like you’re so busy that you have to store the pen there. You don’t even have enough free time to carry around that clipboard these days, do you?

I think I might go ahead and do those returns sitting next to your old stomping grounds… and I think I might pick them up and comment, “Well I just figured they need to be done and I didn’t have anything pressing, and they are so important so I will just do them.” Of course, I will wait until the boss is in the room to do this. And believe me, I am the last person you want making these kind of comments in front of him.

I like it when people who do nothing around my workplace walk around with clipboards, or pens behind their ears... or empty tool belts.

Disco Biscuits - Magellan

 

I used to spend a lot of time playing this game, back when I had Prodigy Classic and chatting on their quality, browser-based chat rooms with a bunch of anonymous people got to be too monotonous. This video perfectly describes the subconscious, but second-nature reasoning anyone who has ever actually played the game occasionally enough to know how it works would have while playing it. Love it.

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